Parivn Norouzian  

My name is Parvin Norouzian, a close friend of Lila Kasra. I came to the United States at age the age of 18. My father was a physician who sent all his kids to the Unites States. And I got married in this country. My first marriage did not work out and sometime later I married for the second time to Kamran, who was the nephew of Iskandar Afshar (Lila Kasra’s husband) and it was through this marriage that I got to know Lila. Lila had a very upscale life- style along with a large and luxurious house. She had three sons who were taken care of with the help of a Filipino lady who also taught them English. 

The first time I met Lila was in 1977 this was the day she came along with Iskandar to his mother’s house. Iskandar’s mother was also my husband’s grandmother. It was obvious that Lila, who was a well-known poet at the time and happened to be the daughter in law of this family, was socially, culturally, and educationally more distinguished than those around her. I remember that it was on this day that she told the family that the very day she was leaving for the United Kingdom where she would seek treatment for breast cancer. 

Lila went to the United Kingdom and went through an operation in London. Unfortunately, the operation was unsuccessful and non-conclusive, and Lila came back to Iran. Later, I got to know Lila better in the United States and became closer to her. I was pregnant the first time I went to meet her. I was very sad; we discussed my problems to which she was very familiar. I also had two sons that were playmates to Pasha & Johnny since they were very close in age. They played together and had fun with horses and motorcycles on the large piece of land and farm that belonged to the Afshar family. 

I had problems in my life with my husband from the beginning because we did not think alike, we had different upbringings, and cultural differences. Constant heartbreaks and problems prevented me from living a peaceful life. 

At that time Lila was very a big help to me. We had common problems and understood each other without having to say a word about it. Lila was very bright, aware, educated, powerful, wise, and above it all pure, honest, and intimate. Among all Iranians that I have met during my long life, I have never met anybody like Lila when it comes to being trueful and honest. She suffered a lot in the artistic community which caused her heartbreaks, especially when it came to making and the recording her last album with the voices of the famous singers. She suffered a lot because of the dishonest and disingenuous way they treated her. 

During out time in Petaluma, I got really close to Lila. We spent a lot of time together. Sometimes I felt as if she was not feeling well. I could see that she was a mess, and struggling. Then, without saying a word, she would pick up a pen and a piece of paper climb up in the nearby hills. I would not see her for a few hours after which she would appear excited and happy and say, “Parvin come so that I can read you this new poem.” 

The key to Lila’s existence was the love she had for her children and her passion for poetry. Writing and reciting poetry was the greatest source of happiness and peace for her. It was the air that made her heart beat and brought joy to her soul. 

During the last year of her life and filled with sickness and powerlessness, she was eager to see her close relative Aunt Molouk. She asked me to go to Turkey to help Aunt Molouk arrange her visit to America. She bought me a ticket and gave me some money to buy some jewelry for a girl that Pasha liked. In those days it was very difficult for folks to get visas from the American Embassy in Turkey. Those who sought visas had to wait for weeks in long lines. I am somewhat familiar with the Turkish language so when we went to the American embassy. I spoke to one of the guards outside the embassy telling him the reason behind our request, and with his help we managed to enter the embassy. I proceeded to explain the extent of Lila’s disease and Aunt Molouk’s role to the consul and very quickly, on the same day we got an American visa for Aunt Molouk and brought her to Lila’s side within a few days. The image of her happy and incredulous face the moment she saw her aunt, holding onto her and crying from joy, is still very clear in my mind. I believe that at that moment the last wish of her life had been granted. 

The Afshar family lived in Petaluma, and we lived in Berkley. In those days a famous musician named Farid Zaland, who played the piano, had come to Petaluma. The very famous and memorable song called “Harab”, performed by Haydee with the music by Farid Zaland, was created at this time. Nobody was able to hear this song and its music and not be taken by it. After all these years, and the passing of both Lila and Haydee, it still feels as if this poem was written today and Haydee is singing it right now.. Let us keep their memory dear in our hearts!

Lila wrote poems, and famous singers, such as Haydee, Ebi, Sattar, and Moin and others wanted her to write songs for them. At one point when she felt better and saw improvements in her health Lila told me that she felt as if her disease had regressed, she had made a pact with God that after her recovery she would stop writing poetry and end her career as a poet. Unfortunately, the disease did not let go of her. Ten years later, she still carried the heavy burden, and she continued to write her poems until her very last dying breath. She loved and suffered. 

Constant back and forth from northern California to Los Angeles, where she was forced to go for treatment, led to the family finding an apartment in the Los Aneles area and they started living there. At this time, despite her disease, she entered head on in the artistic world and the Iranian community in Los Angeles. The agony due to conflicts, competitions, and pains coming from this environment and society added even more to Lila’s previous sufferings. 

She was very serious in everything she did. Every word of what she wrote was part of her life, and when it came to her poems, she embodied them with all the feelings and existence she had within her.  She did not write poetry so that she could gain fame and did not  involve herself in anything to do with competition, jealousy, and disingenuousness. 

Despite her physical weakness, she continued her work. I remember when ithe time came to produce her last album, she worked uninterrupted for 20 straight hours until she had finished did what she set out to do. During Lila’s life, I knew and socialized with her friends and acquaintances. After Lila’s death, I did socialize with any of them. I was aware of Lila’s pains and sufferings, and I did not want to have anything to do with those who had disturbed her peace 

As time went by, Lila became infirm and feeble. She had lost all her energy. The wretched cancer would not leave her alone, and she became very ill. I travelled from Berkley to Los Angeles on any occasion I could to see her. The last time I visited, with tears in her eyes, she begged me not to leave her side and to delay my return. Unfortunately, I could not stay and had to get back home. After all these years, I still regret that decision. I regret and will never forgive myself. Two days later Pasha called and gave me the bad news: Aunt Parvin, Mom passed away!

Only God knows how I felt then and under what psychological pain and sorrow did I go to see her. That day was the most bitter day of my life. It was the first time that I participated in the preparation of a burial of a human being. Nahid, Anoush’s first wife, and another friend were also there. 

Death is certain and natural. We will all die and go. But Lila’s death was hard for me, very hard. She was a great woman and a true lady. She was very humane. I returned to Berkley a week after the ceremony.

The memory of Lila is always alive for me. I have never suffered this degree of pain in my life. I have never had a sister. Lila and I were like sisters. She was an exceptional woman. She was honorable and virtuous, she never lied, she never bad mouthed anyone, and she was never disingenuous with people. Lila was very intelligent. She understood everything, and consequently she suffered a lot.

Her disease and the depression it caused, her regret for being away from Iran, and the unhealthy and disingenuous professional atmosphere, took away all her strength and her passion for life. Unfortunately, she left this world too early. She died young and took away with her all the passion and poetry and the restlessness of a soul and loving heartbeats of her kind heart, 

I have always carried the burden and sorrow of having to go on without her and only having to hold unto our memorize close to my heart.